Carpe F**king Diem.

Hey Guys, sorry my inner me told me to switch languages again. I just have to do this. It's just that I sometimes ask myself when I talk, if that is really all I learned in the past 5 months. Oh shit, that's right, I've been here for 5 freakin months. And in some way, it kinda freaks me out. I don't even dare to talk about my list of goals I set for the year. I'm afraid to look at it. The list was huge before I left Germany. Accomplishments like speaking english almost perfectly and learn how to cook, always being organized, knowing  cool spots in New York, always doing cool stuff with your 1001 new friends, seem now impossible to accomplish. I don't think even 1 Au Pair did everything on their list, but I also didn't intend to to write a whole new one. If I would accomplish all the goals I set, I would be a perfect human being. But for now, in my opinion, I'm not even close to that. Maybe my expectations were way too high. After all that time of waiting and insecurity, of course, my year had to be perfect. And I'm not putting too much pressure on me. Yes, maybe a little bit, but right now I hate myself for being the guy who always sets goals for himself, but either waits for the last minute to achieve his goals, or blows it all off because of stupid reasons. Sorry guys, this post is not a "Omg I love my life so much#aupair#usa#culturalcare#iheartnyc-post". This is deep shit. This is what I have to deal with right now and I hope that, by writing down my thoughts, I can clear my mind and stop being a freakin coward about things that just simply need to be done. The sooner the better. Just get it over with. I sometimes catch myself  doing the same stupid thing again. Yeah, I can do that some other time. Carpe f**king diem!

Current Mood:

OK. That being said, let's switch to actual things that happened to me this week. Fortunately I got my Au Pair car back. Two weeks ago JJ had a car accident with his jeep. Nobody was hurt, except for JJ's Jeep. So he had to use L's car and she had to use my Au Pair car. I had to share the Truck with R over the week which was impossible if I wanted to go places when R had to do stuff with the Truck. But now everything is good. JJ will still get L's car, but only for certain times. They had to scrap the jeep, the repair would cost more than the car's actual value.
One thing I really can be proud of is that I'm going to the gym a couple times a week. It makes me feel really good and I can blow steam off. Plus, I have something to do while the boys are in school.
Sadly, these two things were the most interesting things that happened to me last week. I really need to get my head outta my ass and do something about my misery. You know what? I gonna put my Laptop away right now and continue reading the book I bought in July. And I promise I'll have more outrageous things to talk about in my next Post. Peace.